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The Marshes LoGo

Notables

  • OC notes that he finished this report and then computer crashes and ate his homework. First edition was much funnier
  • Congrats to Kadaver for besting his buddy/life-coach Ticklar on 17 of the TC Senior. Bring on Cuba (the classy player, not the communist island nation of the same name)!
  • Thanks to Fingz for being voluntold to do Doggies. He counted 6 greens hit (yes, he counted on his finger) for a total of only 25 feet in length. That made Chill smile twice and Maiden, Juice, McGoop and Vinnie too. For those counting at home, Women dog better by a 4-2 count. Get your mind out of the gutter: Some Of These Girlz Are Good -- to the tune of 13 bones per.
  • Skins brought to us by Saint Maiden. There were 9 and worth 8 a piece. Is this a good time to talk about McGoops 4-skin again? Chill has 3 in a McGoop-esque effort. One layer of skin for Ticklar and Turtle.
  • Vinny made us an offer we couldn't refuse. The Italian Rodney Dangerfield leads the Tour in lost blind matches. Or as he calls them "underground matches."
  • Rexall, Vinnie and Turtle trailed behind Maiden all day. Literally and figuratively :)
  • McGoop's tan loses to Juice's in a 19th hole skins game. Even Irons bows to the mocha Juice.
  • When the tall, slender Flagman wears that bright yellow shirt, he look like, well, you know...
  • Ripzone wore shorts of a suspicious colour. Not quite red.
  • Spoonhead upsets Rip and jumps some 75 rungs on the ladder.
  • Fingz gave me the finger on the first tee and I forgot to return it.
  • Irons is one of the Tour's quiet gentlemen
  • Kadaver is a cerebral assassin.
  • Ticklar was resplendent in orange and grey from head to toe. He wins the "haberdasher honours" of the day.
  • Super Seniors played the "half-tees" and so did Chill -- alternating red and white blocks. So, Chill owes for 9 whines :)
  • In a span of 5 roller-coaster holes, a certain Slammette had two 2's and two 8's.
  • If you haven't yet played with rookie Liggiddy, don't forget your $5, this dude has game!
  • The Granville Island beer on tap comes highly recommended by this OC.

Quotables

  • "I have everything I want already"
  • "If you want a date, my number is on the flag."
  • "I hate you more than I thought."
  • "Thank God for a laser finder..."
  • "Want to buy a laser finder."
  • "Get in the hole (heard often this day)"
  • "Chill is smoking darts and throwing darts out there."
  • The scorecards at Marshes read: Suggested tee box -- 6-15 handicap: Blue. Hmm...
Event: The Marshes
Wed Sep 10, 2014
Summary
Iron Lady joined the group at the last minute to make it a Sweet 16 of Slammers at one of our fave tracks. Two of us arrived as the OC was doing his intros (hello Liggiddy and Maiden). We were then off and running (driving) with everyone making putts drop like Vinnie drops one-liners. Beauties all!

Stars
chill
Holy @#$%, Chill! She makes an eagle on #1 from the fairway and it was ON from there... She adds two wins + a tie, two birdies, two doggies, three skins, eight high-fives and the #1 star! Her card had three 2's AND she missed another 2 from 3 feet! Wow. Sounds like an A+ player.
KaDaver
TIE between Kadaver and Ticklar: (note to boss: yeah, I know, OC should follow the rules and just pick 3 stars. Be assured, I have sanctioned myself for this indignity :). These twin brothers from other mothers share the nod for their TC battle. K-dog wins despite four 3-putts (and, interestingly, he teaches putting) and K also makes a bird and is undefeated. Tik has a skin and three birdies. Well played, gents.
McGoop
OC was trying to avoid this guy. Here are some numbers to aspire to: 5 birds and an eagle. And we had to hear about his 4-skin too thanks to IM. Also, a dog (symbolism, irony??). We don't talk about "scores" on the "Tour" but let's just say, if you did know his score you might think about Bryan Adams and if Shortstack and Swanny heard his score, they would giggle and titter like schoolgirlz:
Onsite Coordinator
  • Sunny
Stats
  • Attendance: 16
  • Scoring Average: 86
  • Birdie Average: 1.06
  • Course Rating: 9.5
  • Best aspects of course: Tees, greens, fairways, practice range, patio ... ok, everything. There was some white/blue gunk on the greens (and suspiciously on Maiden and Juice skorts. I checked with clubhouse: It is ebola, so make sure to wash with soap. Beer is a bit pricey, but I am informed it is not mandatory. Who knew?
Kids
  • The Kids earned $32
Event Fees
  • ST Member: $79
  • EG Member: $69
  • EG Unl. Member: $59
Total for The Kids

UPSETS DEFENCES
Challenger Defender Hole Challenger Defender Hole
Irons [75] Flagman (We Remember) [61] 16 Flagman (We Remember) [61] McGoop [3] 11
Sunny [48] FingZ (r) [30] 16 Juice [36] McGoop [3] 12
Irons [75] Juice [36] 17 SpoonHead [205] Ticklar [102] 13
chill [35] FingZ (r) [30] 17 Sunny [48] Liggiddy (r) [7] 13
SpoonHead [205] Ripzone [135] 18 SpoonHead [205] KaDaver [68] 14
Turtle [154] Vinnie [79] 18 Ripzone [135] KaDaver [68] 14
Rexall (We Remember) [118] Vinnie [79] 18 Irons [75] McGoop [3] 14
FingZ (r) [30] Liggiddy (r) [7] 14
Ripzone [135] Ticklar [102] 15
Vinnie [79] IronMaiden [37] 15
Flagman (We Remember) [61] Juice [36] 16
Rexall (We Remember) [118] IronMaiden [37] 16
Ticklar [102] KaDaver [68] 17
Turtle [154] Rexall (We Remember) [118] 17
Sunny [48] chill [35] 17
Turtle [154] IronMaiden [37] 18
chill [35] Liggiddy (r) [7] 18

INDIVIDUAL PLAYER STATS
Slammer Score Birds Eagles Dogs Bones Skins Bones Record Points
McGoop 69 5 1 1 13 4 32 3-0-0 6
IronMaiden 86 1 0 1 13 0 0 3-0-0 6
KaDaver 82 1 0 0 0 0 0 3-0-0 6
chill 83 2 1 2 26 3 24 2-0-1 5
Liggiddy (r) 79 1 0 0 0 0 0 2-0-1 5
Ticklar 79 3 0 0 0 1 8 2-1-0 4
Irons 84 0 0 0 0 0 0 2-1-0 4
Rexall (We Remember) 92 0 0 0 0 0 0 2-1-0 4
Juice 84 0 0 1 13 0 0 1-2-0 2
Turtle 96 1 0 0 0 1 8 1-2-0 2
Sunny 86 0 0 0 0 0 0 1-2-0 2
SpoonHead 94 0 0 0 0 0 0 1-2-0 2
Vinnie 94 1 0 1 13 0 0 0-3-0 0
Flagman (We Remember) 89 0 0 0 0 0 0 0-3-0 0
FingZ (r) 90 1 0 0 0 0 0 0-3-0 0
Ripzone 95 1 0 0 0 0 0 0-3-0 0

SKINS
HOLE 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 OUT 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 IN TOTAL SKINS
PAR 4 5 3 5 3 4 4 3 5 36 5 4 3 4 5 3 5 3 4 36 72
McGoop 4 4 3 4 4 4 5 3 3 34 4 3 2 5 5 3 6 3 4 35 69 4
chill 2 8 4 8 2 5 4 3 5 41 7 5 3 5 5 2 7 3 5 42 83 3
Ticklar 5 4 3 5 3 5 5 5 5 40 6 3 6 3 5 3 6 3 4 39 79 1
Turtle 5 7 5 8 4 6 5 4 8 52 5 5 4 4 8 5 4 3 6 44 96 1
Liggiddy (r) 4 5 2 5 4 4 4 4 5 37 5 5 4 5 5 3 8 3 4 42 79 0
KaDaver 4 7 2 5 5 6 4 3 5 41 5 6 4 5 5 3 5 3 5 41 82 0
Irons 5 6 3 5 4 4 4 3 6 40 8 5 5 4 5 3 5 3 6 44 84 0
Juice 5 5 4 7 3 6 5 3 6 44 5 4 3 4 6 4 5 4 5 40 84 0
IronMaiden 5 7 2 6 3 7 5 5 5 45 6 4 5 4 6 3 5 4 4 41 86 0
Sunny 5 7 3 6 3 5 5 5 5 44 8 4 3 6 5 3 5 3 5 42 86 0
Flagman (We Remember) 4 6 4 8 4 5 6 3 5 45 7 4 6 5 5 3 6 4 4 44 89 0
FingZ (r) 3 7 6 6 5 5 6 3 6 47 6 5 3 5 5 4 6 4 5 43 90 0
Rexall (We Remember) 4 7 5 6 4 6 5 4 5 46 7 5 6 4 6 4 6 3 5 46 92 0
SpoonHead 6 8 3 7 4 5 6 4 6 49 6 5 4 5 7 4 5 3 6 45 94 0
Vinnie 4 8 3 8 3 7 7 4 4 48 6 5 4 5 8 4 5 3 6 46 94 0
Ripzone 6 8 3 7 5 4 6 4 5 48 5 3 5 4 8 5 6 4 7 47 95 0
TOTAL 1 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 0 9
Legend E Eagle or Better B Birdie P Par G Bogey or Greater C Cut-off birdie

PLAYER MATCHES
HOLE 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18
1U 2U 2U 3U 3U 3U 2U 2U 3U 4U 5U 6U 5U 5U - - - -
4 4 3 4 4 4 5 3 3 4 3 2 5 5 - - - -
5 6 3 5 4 4 4 3 6 8 5 5 4 5 - - - -
- - - -
RESULT: McGoop wins 5 and 4 Start match at hole:
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