The Slammer Tour: Event Summary

Notables

I'm not sure if Sergio Garcia, Bubba Watson and Jordan Spieth all paid for their whines. But when Turtle whined before he even teed off on #1, he threw a twonie in the kids' pot.
Speaking of Turtle. We are all aware of the water at the first hole (YES eQuinelle has us playing the eighteen in order again), and can you guess how many cleared it? Fourteen of the sixteen all landed dry. Who didn't? It is obvious, the two that got wet were the Gator and the Turtle. (I have since been corrected and informed that Pozzo was also wet - isn't a Pozzo a water tower?)
The pace was good and could have been better but again the Tour caught up to and was stalled by a twosome.
Group two had never played here before . You could tell if you watched them get to the second tee box. Also being a group of strangers, they needed to be reminded about ready golf. They were all being too nice and always awaiting their turn to shoot, regardless of being behind. The OC drove up to them to ask them to close the gap and they fully complied. THANK YOU FOUR!
The greens were fast and true.
The fairways are in excellent condition.
Culligan Doggie Master was Wilford and the REAL FANS Skins Master was Shorts. Both gave a refreshing report, which we all enjoyed and thank you for. Shorts thanks his assistant Kookie.
MILESTONE ALERT - All four in the final group were playing for a milestone and they will all have to wait for their next event.
This from Bookie ... And since you like numbers, was thinking about skins and dogs. Just two skins at $40 each was pretty good. But it would have been a lot better for me if I hadn't three-putted on no. 3 -- would have cut off the other skin, taking $80 for the one skin and the dog would have given me another $26. Damn! Gotta bear down on those putts! Ha!
I close this with an apology to my friend the skunk who said "OH oh I will have to take another two hours to read a Grumpy report", During this season of comebacks. The Tour full of bionics and titanium parts and the need for more first aid flags on carts (it was great to see TJ's name on the wall for eQ's intersectional qualifier - after his heart off season) I would like to share this from our friend and brother Davestator: Hi Jim. Quite a setback of recent, I thought golf, by now, would again be an active part of my life. My chest has been severely painful while I am a passenger in a car. Every pothole, & who can argue they are everywhere, creates a shriek from me, as does turning corners too quickly or stopping suddenly when a light turns yellow. I went to see about this in emergency at the Ottawa General in late March after returning from Toronto, because I was certain the chest pain wasn`t normal. They probed me up & down, did xrays, a CT scan & after ONLY 13 hours, said all was okay. Strange, but I just didn`t believe them! The severe pain in the chest area persisted, even got worse, when trying to go anywhere by car on Ottawa`s streets. On June 1, I returned to Toronto for a day of clinic testing + a bronchoscopy (which I am committed to every 3 months in the 1st year following the surgery), told the clinic doctor I was in a lot of pain when trying to lift my arms above my shoulders, bending over, or especially while driving in a car. They contacted 1 of the surgeons in the Transplant Team, he joined with a 2nd surgeon + a radiologist & after reviewing my newest x-rays & CT scan they discovered vertebrae compression or stress fractures, an old one which the Ottawa General had missed + a new one, which they feel has been caused by the steroids I am taking as part of my anti-rejection medication. Now I am taking even more drugs, to correct the other drugs I am already on. I can almost feel the war going on inside of me. The plus side, if this bone stuff ever gets healed up, is that my breathing tests are fabulous. The transplanted lungs are working beautifully. The recent testing showed me at 126% of their target mark for a guy my age for the 6 minute walk test & the pulmonary function testing showed me at 106% of their target mark. The blood work & the bronchoscopy also produced excellent results. The crappy part of these fractures is that the 1st words spoken from the woman who runs the Transplant Physio Department were to forget about golf for this year, too much torque is involved in a full swing (driver & other woods) & it will probably take months for full healing. Google lists the healing at 8 -12 weeks. She knew, from previous discussions with me, that I was an avid golfer (& a committed LYB proponent) & she showed genuine concern when I added that none of the `Slammers` was following this advice anyhow, especially the guy who needed it most! I continue to be incredibly impressed by the Slammer Tour. It entertains me on a daily basis to keep myself tuned in. I`m just as upset as the players, when their scheduled matches get rained out & I am forced to read about Trudeau & our messed up politicians instead of a bunch of wacky names out there braving the elements trying to beat each other up. That Cuban adventure sounds like a good package & great way to cheat a bit of winter. I wish I was feeling I would be ready if I signed up for that one...Regards, the Davestator

Quotables

"chill got me all excited."
"Did Shorts hit on Grumpy as he walked off the first tee?"
"Did he touch his bum?"
"I have a restraining order against all ladders." "Who served it? Your wife?"
"WOW! That was a Flyer." "So are you."
"YEAH! A birdie." "And the match" "That's a good way to solve your putting problems - chip it in."
"There were eight birdies and not one won a skin."
"The other shell"
"Your prize for being a star is that you have to dress like Grumpy!"

Sat Jun 20, 2015

Summary
It is Saturday. The PGA's US Open has completed 54 holes. Many (well five) Slammers have also played 54 holes since Thursday. Tomorrow 77 will play their fourth round at Chamber's Bay. FingZ & Grumpy will be the only two Slammers to play 72 holes along with those others in that other Tour.

Stars
	Paulie (r)
	3-0, all three were upsets as this unranked Slammer moves from 999 to 35. He won one of the two dogs. For that dog - this rookie forgot to leave his ball, was allowed to run back and mark it and win the dog. This faux pas enabled us to have a good conversation on the nineteenth. I now remind you all to mark your doggie. You are NOT allowed to mark it after you hit the ball.
	BogeyMan
	2-0-1, and with his bogey on 17 is still undefeated against Flyer. He also had one par skin. TC C winner over Gator (first seed), and moving on to play second seed RonBow next round. That win evened their career at one apiece. His first win today was against Grumpy and he needs another for their career record to reach 3-3-3.
	Wilford
	2-0-1, TC C winner over Pozzo. Prior to today he was 8-6-4 vs his group and now he is 10-6-5. Apparently they were all duped by the cane! Gppd prop - Gator retired his and it is in storage.

Onsite Coordinator

Grumpy

Stats

Attendance: 16
Scoring Average: 95
Birdie Average: 0.5
Course Rating: 9
Best aspects of course: greens and many unmentionables.

Kids

The Kids earned $27

Event Fees

ST Member: $65
EG Member: $55
EG Unl. Member: $45

UPSETS			DEFENCES
Challenger	Defender	Hole	Challenger	Defender	Hole
Paulie (r) [Unr]	Bobo [B45]	13	Grumpy [D1]	Flyer [B89]	12
BogeyMan [C50]	Gator [B44]	15	Sutty [C5]	Pepilepu [B50]	13
Pepilepu [B50]	ShelGame [A39]	15	Grumpy [D1]	BogeyMan [C50]	13
Happy [B64]	SmallFry [B22]	15	Grumpy [D1]	Gator [B44]	14
Pozzo [C27]	Bookie [C18]	16	Sutty [C5]	ShelGame [A39]	15
Flyer [B89]	Gator [B44]	16	Turtle [B60]	Wilford [C6]	15
Paulie (r) [Unr]	SmallFry [B22]	16	Pozzo [C27]	Wilford [C6]	15
Paulie (r) [Unr]	Happy [B64]	17	Sutty [C5]	Shorts [B18]	15
Pozzo [C27]	Turtle [B60]	17	Bobo [B45]	SmallFry [B22]	15
Happy [B64]	Bobo [B45]	17	ShelGame [A39]	Shorts [B18]	16
			Bookie [C18]	Turtle [B60]	18
			Bookie [C18]	Wilford [C6]	18
			Pepilepu [B50]	Shorts [B18]	18
			BogeyMan [C50]	Flyer [B89]	18

INDIVIDUAL PLAYER STATS
Slammer	Score	Birds	Eagles	Dogs	Bones	Skins	Bones	Record	Points
Paulie (r)	85	0	0	1	40	0	0	3-0-0	6
Shorts	87	2	0	0	0	0	0	3-0-0	6
BogeyMan	94	1	0	0	0	1	40	2-0-1	5
Flyer	91	0	0	0	0	0	0	2-0-1	5
Wilford	97	0	0	0	0	0	0	2-0-1	5
Pepilepu	84	1	0	0	0	0	0	2-1-0	4
Happy	89	1	0	0	0	0	0	2-1-0	4
Pozzo	101	0	0	0	0	0	0	2-1-0	4
Turtle	98	1	0	1	40	0	0	1-2-0	2
SmallFry	91	0	0	0	0	0	0	1-2-0	2
ShelGame	94	1	0	0	0	0	0	1-2-0	2
Gator	98	0	0	0	0	0	0	1-2-0	2
Bookie	102	1	0	0	0	1	40	0-2-1	1
Bobo	95	0	0	0	0	0	0	0-3-0	0
Sutty	101	0	0	0	0	0	0	0-3-0	0
Grumpy	110	0	0	0	0	0	0	0-3-0	0

SKINS
HOLE	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	OUT	10	11	12	13	14	15	16	17	18	IN	TOTAL	SKINS
PAR	4	4	3	5	4	5	4	3	4	36	4	5	4	3	4	4	3	4	5	36	72
BogeyMan	5	7	3	7	5	6	7	3	4	47	7	5	6	4	5	3	5	5	7	47	94	1
Bookie	5	7	4	5	5	4	4	6	8	48	4	7	6	7	6	8	4	5	7	54	102	1
Pepilepu	4	4	4	5	6	5	5	3	4	40	6	4	7	4	4	4	4	6	5	44	84	0
Paulie (r)	4	6	4	7	4	5	5	3	5	43	4	7	6	3	4	4	3	4	7	42	85	0
Shorts	4	6	6	5	6	5	5	6	5	48	5	4	7	3	4	3	3	5	5	39	87	0
Happy	6	5	4	5	7	4	6	3	7	47	4	6	4	5	4	4	4	5	6	42	89	0
Flyer	5	4	4	6	4	6	5	5	6	45	7	5	4	5	5	4	3	6	7	46	91	0
SmallFry	5	6	4	6	5	5	7	4	7	49	5	6	5	3	4	4	4	5	6	42	91	0
ShelGame	5	5	4	7	5	8	7	2	8	51	4	7	5	4	4	5	4	4	6	43	94	0
Bobo	5	4	5	7	6	6	6	3	6	48	5	7	6	4	5	4	4	6	6	47	95	0
Wilford	5	8	4	6	4	5	6	5	8	51	5	5	5	3	4	5	5	7	7	46	97	0
Turtle	8	4	5	6	5	6	5	2	6	47	8	6	5	4	5	7	4	6	6	51	98	0
Gator	7	8	5	5	6	7	5	4	5	52	5	6	5	4	5	6	3	6	6	46	98	0
Sutty	6	4	6	7	6	5	5	5	8	52	6	5	6	5	5	5	5	7	5	49	101	0
Pozzo	8	5	4	5	5	6	6	5	5	49	7	5	5	4	7	7	3	6	8	52	101	0
Grumpy	8	5	5	6	5	7	8	4	7	55	7	7	7	4	6	5	6	7	6	55	110	0
TOTAL	0	0	1	0	0	0	1	0	0		0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0			2
Legend	E	Eagle or Better						B	Birdie		P	Par		G	Bogey or Greater					C	Cut-off birdie

PLAYER MATCHES
HOLE	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10	11	12	13	14	15	16	17	18
	1U	2U	2U	3U	2U	3U	4U	3U	4U	3U	4U	3U	3U	3U	4U	-	-	-
	4	4	4	5	6	5	5	3	4	6	4	7	4	4	4	-	-	-
	5	5	4	7	5	8	7	2	8	4	7	5	4	4	5	-	-	-
																-	-	-
RESULT: Pepilepu wins 4 and 3 Start match at hole:

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